Monday, August 18, 2008

The Great Mouse Adventure

This day started with much excitement at the Sam house. Suddenly out of the solitude of a restful nights sleep old Snake was awakened with the panicked cry of Mrs. Sam. “Snake Oil,” “a mouse, there is a mouse in the bathroom.” My first reaction was to turn over and go back to sleep.

Unfortunately the Mrs. would have none of that. She was, as a matter of fact quite adamant that I take immediate action. Knowing that I didn’t have a hope of just going back to sleep I diligently did my husbandly duty, got up and put on a pair of pants.

I have often wondered why it is referred to as a pair of pants when it is only one. But let me not digress less I detract from the story. Arriving at the place of confrontation I found that Mrs. Sam had covertly placed a towel which she had grabbed before making her hasty retreat, at the bottom of the door.

It was unclear whether she had done so as a matter of trapping the little varmint in the bathroom or as an instinctual action encoded into the genome of women as a matter of self preservation. But putting aside such matters I carefully open the door to see if in fact the mouse was still in sight.

Sure enough there it was. It seemed that it was standing its ground simply trying to asses the situation that it was now in. Not wanting to let it escape into the greater region of the house I closed the door while trying to formulate a battle plan.

Mrs. Sam strongly suggested that I take a broom and beat it to death. But being the kind of guy who never likes to kill without good reason I decided that it would be a better idea to capture the little critter and release it to the wilderness.

Searching the house for some sort of implement which I might use in order to capture the little beast I spied out a little wooden bowl which seems just right for the task at hand. I remembered a time as a young lad when such an event took place at mothers’ house. Being a youth I didn’t know what to do but my older brother taught me the ways of the hunter that night.

The lesson had not been lost on little Sam.

Returning to the site of the hunt I instructed Mrs. Sam to step aside so that I might confront the wily beast. She pleaded with me to put on a pair of shoes so that I might not be bitten. But I had a task ahead and did not feel it necessary to protect the exposed area. After all it was just a mouse I argued.

When I started the hunt I soon discovered that a mouse is faster than an old man as it countered my every move. But I would not be outwitted by a mouse. Being so small it used its size to advantage running behind the toilet where it was difficult to trap. I continued to chase it into open territory. But due to its speed it continued to defy my efforts.

Mrs. Sam called from beyond the door asking how the hunt was going. I responded that I had my prey in sight and was closing the circle. I was assisted by the fact that the floor surface is very shinny and therefore very slippery. Yes, the mouse had traction problems.

I used that to my advantage. After attempting to drop a small old hand towel on top of it in order to blind it I realized that would not work as the mouse simply ran out from underneath.

Taking the small wooden bowel that I had brought for the job I attempted to simply place it over the mouse. But it kept eluding the bowel with its instinctual survival effort. Frustrated I picked up yet another implement in my war arsenal.

I now held the toilet scrub brush in my right hand and the wooden bowel in my left. Waiting for the right moment, the mouse made yet one more attempt to elude me. I saw an opening and swung the brush at the mouse capturing it by the tail.

“Yes!” I had my prey. Placing the bowel over the little fella’ I told my wife to get me something flat that I might slide under the bowel so I to seal the fate of the now captured mouse.

Soon she returned with a flattened cardboard Eggo’ box. “Perfect” I declared. She then quickly exited the room in the event that the mouse might escape during the delicate operation of cardboard insertion.

But since all went well with that aspect the operation I now was prepared to vacate the mouse from my home to the nearby woods. Hopefully the mouse will not dare to return remembering that this house is occupied by a defender of the castle.

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